10 Ways Harry Potter Is Creepy

1. In the final movie all of the prepubescent girls in love with Harry will be lusting after an adult man, not the young boy from the books.

2. As the actor who played Dumbledore passed away between movies, parents will be forced to explain why he “looks different”.

3. The descriptions of butterbeer give the impression it’s an alcoholic beverage. An alcoholic beverage consumed by 12 years olds.

4. It must be said – the Professor Umbridge had Harry write over and over again on the back of his palm, “I must not tell lies.” Even if we ignore the fact he was telling the truth and was still punished, the fact that he was not only writing, but in actuality cutting himself repeatedly at the instruction of a person in the position of authority is, I think you’ll agree – quite troubling.

5. After JK Rowling exposed Dumbledore as being a homosexual, the inordinate amount of time spent with Harry, along with their consumpion of the assumedy alcoholic butterbeer together, leaves us wondering whether or not Dumbledore was less the loving father figure and more the creepy old guy who stands way too close to you at a bus stop.

6. Fred, or George – one of the Ginger twins – dies. The thing is, it’s a kid’s book – and we have people dying left right and center – including children. Then there’s the graphic description of his parents’ sorrow. “Happy 12th birthday Jimmy! Enjoy the book.”

7. There is an old man constantly chasing a young boy in an effort to murder him, having already wasted his entire family.

8. Standing amongst flames in your fireplace will teleport you.

9. Dementors – hooded creatures sucking the happiness out of everyone and causing both traumatic flashbacks and, one would imagine, suicidal thoughts.

10. Children are often forced to face their greatest fears or, possibly worse still, do things that wont kill them, due to the “magic” shite, but will cause them incredible pain.

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