This Decade’s Best Villains

I love villains. I absolutely negatively (hey, we’re talking bad guys here) do. Ever since I saw Cesar Romero kill it in re-runs of the original Batman TV show as a kid, I’ve been obsessed with the baddies. That said, it’s no surprise I took the time to put together a list of my 20 personal favorite on-screen bad guys from this decade, the 2000s. This is by no means a definitive list, and it isn’t in order of badassery either (alphabetical order). So, kick back, relax and let the bad times roll…

This Decades Best Villains

Alonzo Harris (Training Day) – Denzel Washington won an Oscar for his portrayal of this badass baddie. When was the last time a cop was so cool? Seriously? Serpico? Can you imagine how bad this movie would have been if, say, Cuba Gooding Jr. played Harris? King Kong ain’t got sh** on Denzel indeed!

Al Swearengen (Deadwood) – Al was a pimp who operated a brothel. Al was a murderer who killed when necessary. But Al also had a strict code of values that he would not break for anybody. He was also the original smooth talker. Or is that smack talker? Let’s just say dude had the gift of gab.

Anton Chigurh (No Country for Old Men) – Hard to love a guy with a creepy “Suck Cut” hairdo who walks around killing people with a captive bolt pistol, aka a freakin’ cattle gun. But Javier Bardiem was so phenomenal as Chigruh that his Oscar-winning turn has been called the modern day equivalent of Death from Bergman’s The Seventh Seal. A legendary sicko.

Bill The Butcher (Gangs of New York) - It’s been at least a year or two since I’ve seen this film, yet I can see Daniel Day-Lewis playing the Butcher in my head, clear as day. It’s like that glass eye is staring right at me. My favorite story about DDL’s performance is that he got pneumonia and refused antibiotics because the Butcher wouldn’t have had access to that kind of medicine. Talk about method acting.

Commodus (Gladiator) – It’s not often that an actor can make you despise his villain to such a degree you want to jump into the movie The Purple Rose of Cairo-style and jack him in the face. Back before he looked like ZZ Top on crack, Joaquin Phoenix was just that good. No way Russell Crowe wins an Oscar for Gladiator without Phoenix starring opposite as Commodus.

Daniel Plainview (There Will Be Blood) - Yep, we’re six scumbags in and Daniel Day-Lewis has already appeared twice on this list. There Will Be Blood is a two-part clinic; P.T. Anderson’s directing clinic, and DDL’s acting clinic. Who else could make “I drink your milkshake” the line of the decade? Nobody.

Doc Ock (Spider-Man 2) – Is Alfred Molina dorky? Absolutely. Is Doctor Octopus dorky? As Sarah Palin would put it, in an annoying fashion that only Fran Drescher could match, you betcha! Yet, at the same time, never has dorky been so cool. Why was Spider-Man 2 easily the best movie of the series? Because it had Spidey’s best nemesis.

Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica) - If there was an International Self-Preservation Conference, one  Gaius Baltar would be the keynote speaker. He also frakked more women than Wilt  Chamberlain, had a Stephon Marburyesque cult follwing and his administration made the Bush Administration look decent. But, oh, was he fun to watch.

Gogo Yubari (Kill Bill: Vol I) – There have been plenty of hot 17 year olds who have gotten grown ass men in trouble, but not like this. Unless you want a meteor hammer ripping out your intestines, do not take her up on her offer to hook up. No matter how good she might look in that school-girl outfit. Any chick who giggles over gore is jacked up.

Hennessey (Death Race) – Typically, we see Joan Allen typecast as a housewife (Face/Off, Pleasantville) or strong business woman (the Bourne series), but in this movie she was a straight up sadistic bitch. I agree with Steven King — this movie is a helluva ride. That’s mostly true because it’s a joy to watch Allen kick ass as this bloodthirsty warden.

Idi Amin (The Last King of Scotland) - Not since Sir Anthony Hopkins talked about about eating a man’s liver with fava beans has someone owned a movie despite so little screen time. Forest Whitaker’s depiction of the Ugandan general was so real you can’t label it an acting role — it was a transformation. His ridiculous charm almost had us liking Amin, despite his ruthless nature.

The Joker (The Dark Knight) – The best ever portrayal of the best ever comic book villain. Heath Ledger took what had typically been a campy, deranged clown criminal, and turned him into a psychotic terrorist with a flair for the dramatic. This performance put Jack Nicholson’s to shame. Can’t get much more badass than that.

Knockout Ned (City of God) – Don’t like subtitles? Stop being such a whiny little bitch and pick up City of God. Seu Jorge pwns as Knockout Ned, a ladies man with a deadly trigger finger. Yes, the same Jorge who sings Bowie tunes in Portuguese in The Life Aquatic. This guy is the epitome of cool. The Brazilian Walt Frazier.

Marv (Sin City) – I enjoy the entire Sin City flick, but more often than not I just fire up the Blu-Ray and watch only The Hard Goodbye segment, aka Mickey Rourke Puts on a F***ing Show. I wasn’t surprised by The Wrestler at all. Why? Because after making anti-hero/villain, depending on perspective, Marv a bigger badass than he even was in the graphic novel, I knew Rourke had a lot of great acting left in him.

Mr. Glass (Unbreakable) – Unbreakable is M. Night Shyamalan’s best film. Yes, it has two twists to The Sixth Sense’s one, but that’s not why. There’s an old theory that applies here: a film is only as good as its villain. Samuel L. Jackson lends incredible depth to Elijah Price, the comic-obsessed osteogenesis imperfecta sufferer who resorts to terrorism to find the yin to his yang.

Omar Little (The Wire) – This hood Robin Hood has got to be the most unique character in the history of crime sagas. Michael K. Williams is one of my favorite actors, and deservedly so. Who else could have turned a homosexual stick-up artist who won’t curse into the coolest TV character of the decade? Williams? Indeed. In my opinion, The Wire is the best show ever. Without Mr. Little, it wouldn’t even be in the convo.

Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) – “I’ve gotta return some videotapes.” Never has a murdering sociopath, or someone who thinks they’re one, been good for so many laughs. Who else but Patrick Bateman can go from dancing to Huey Lewis to burying an axe in somebody’s skull faster than a Ferrari can go from one to 60? Just don’t show him your bone-colored business cards. I’m warning you.

Saruman (The Lord of the Rings trilogy)- It doesn’t get any better than Christopher Lee playing Saruman the White. The word Saruman means “one of cunning devices,” and Lee’s rendition brings that definition to life. His icy stare and booming voice were exactly what I imagined as a kid. Never has there been better casting, which was the case with the entire The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Sylar (Heroes) – If you dissected Heroes like Gabrial Gray would a timepiece (or a victim’s head) to see why the show works, or worked, your answer would be Sylar (that and writer Bryan Fuller). When Zachary Quinto absolutely ripped it this summer as Spock in the Star Trek re-imagining, it definitely put a Sylar-like smirk on my face. It’s hard work making an audience sympathize and even root for a serial killer, but Quinto does just that.

Sweeney Todd (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street) - A vicious Victorian barber who slaughters human beings with his straight razor, then serves them up in England like they were fish and chips. Now, how do you turn that into a character who an audience not only won’t hate, but actively take interest in? Cast Johnny Depp, of course. Never has so much blood and unintentional cannibalism given us such a reason to sing.

Who would you add to the list? Who would you take off of the list? Sound off…

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